A Different Christmas
First, an update on our love assignment- Everyone who participated, raise your hand. Hold on, I cannot see everyone, raise it really high. Ok, now put it down, noone can see you, you are sitting at a computer. Now anyone who actually raised your hand, yo need ot let us know in the comment section. Don’t be shy, be honest.
I pulled into Wendy’s around 11:50 last Saturday. There were about 10 cars in front of me, and immediately after me, one more pulled in. “Sweet,” I thought, it was busy, so I figured I would get a number of cars behind me. Only one more pulled in. Regardless of how many I was prepared to pay for, I was left with two. I pulled up to the pay window, handed the girl my Credit Card and explained what I wanted to do.
She promplty reached outside the window and swiped my card at the CC processer smack dab in front of my face, not sure how I missed it. Then she had to call a lady to put in a password to enable me to pay for the other two cars. For the car right behind me, she swiped my card at the register inside. Then the manager put in the code again, and the girl gave me back my card and told me to swipe it at the processer located in my face. I promptly dropped my card on the ground.
For those who may be not fully appreciating the gravity of my situation, the lady behind me was getting mad (she had no idea why the idiot in front of her was having so much trouble paying for his order), I had dropped my card on the ground, and no, I could not open my door because it kept hitting the side of the building. I turned my wheel fully to the right, and pulled forward enough to get my door open 6 inches. Then I slid my foot out the door, and used it to slide my card over to the door.
After many tries, I succeeded in bringing the card directly under the door opening, but being in a minivan, reaching the card from my seat was not a simple task. I had to put the van in park, put my legs in between the bucket seats, almost laying on the seat, and stretch my arm down to the ground to reach the card. Success at last.
I then paid for the car that was 2 cars behind me, and was able to proceed to the pickup window. To make the whole thing even more funny, the poor lady behind me only bought something for $1.26. She probably would have been happier paying her money than having to wait, but that is the risk she took pulling into Wendy’s on that particular day.
I hope many of you had the opportunity to have fun like this, and I hope it went off with less problems than what I experienced. A bonus assignment for anyone who wants extra credit: Read Luke 3:10-11, and Luke 14:12-14. One is Jesus, and the other is John the Baptist. Then read I John 3:16-17. Now here is what I want you to do. Look at your possessions and pick out one thing you have extra of. Do you have an extra car? Do you have an extra coat, or maybe you have extra food.
Once you have identified this one thing that is extra, start praying. Pray that God will bring someone into your life that needs that item. Pray for a divine appointment to give God’s love to someone.
If you have 2 cars, and only need one, pray that God will bring someone into your life that needs a car, and give it to them. If you have an extra coat or two, pray that God will bring someone into your life that needs a coat. If you have extra food, pray that God will bring you a hungry person. If you have extra room in your house, pray that God will bring you a person who needs shelter, or a child who needs adopted. If you have multiple game consoles, like a wii, and an xbox, and a ps3, pray that someone will come into your life that possibly only has a ps1 with only one game and happens to write your favorite blog. (ok, ok, I am just kidding on that last one). Seriously though, pray this, and expectantly wait for God to answer. When he does, give this person your stuff.
Why do you need an extra car? Why do you need more than one coat? Why do you need to have a spare bedroom? Why do you need to eat all that food? Give it to God, and see what happens.
Ok, on to today’s topic:
About a week ago, a retired missionary friend of mine was describing how Christmas is celebrated among Christians in the Central African Republic. They take the fact that it is Christ’s birthday quite literally. Instead of buying gifts for each other, they give gifts to Jesus. What a neat concept. In America, we have commercialized Christmas so much. Even though we as Christians know the real reason, and celebrate it for what it is, we still often get caught up in buying gifts for each other rather than giving to the one whose birthday it really is.
After hearing this story, my wife and I talked (we try to do this occasionally, not sure why). Barring any unforeseen changes to our thinking, next year will be different. Too late for this year, we already bought many of our gifts.
Our plan for next year is to not buy our children any gifts. We still need to work out all the details of how we are going to implement this, but here is a rough draft of our plan: Around Thanksgiving of next year, we will sit our kids down and explain the no gift policy, and explain why. Then we will laugh at their reaction and count up all the money we are saving.
No seriously, (once again, I apologize for my warped sense of humor) we will figure out about how much we would have spent on there gifts and then give then 3-5 options to give to Jesus with it. Whether it is giving to orphans, giving to a shelter, or something else entirely. Next year, the 2 oldest will be 6 years old. Hopefully in the next 2-3 years, as this bcomes integrated into their lives, they will start seeing opportunities, and bringing them to us.
What a privilige it would be to raise kids who get more excited about where and how they will give each Christmas than about what they will get. Lets be honest, our kids have enough (too many) toys as it is. The grandparents are still going to buy them stuff, so please do not worry about my kids being deprived. Even if there were no grandparents to give them stuff, they still would not be deprived. Do you remember what Christ said in Acts 20:35, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Think about the times you have had the privilege of meeting someones physical needs. How great is that? Doesn’t it feel better than opening up a truck load of presents?
If we train our kids at a young age to model this truth, there lives will be far richer than if not. Take a look at how you celebrate Christmas. Are you acting like it is your birthday? Are you acting like it is your kids birthday? I know tradition dictates we buy gifts, but for who? Whose birthday is it?
Merry Christmas everyone, and FYI, due to the business, I may not post next week. I will try, but it just may not happen.
Ok, first of all, I love your Wendy’s story. As funny as it was, it just shows that you were going to do what you said you’d do no matter how much effort it took (and no matter how small or large the amount was). I hope the lady behind you later smiled at what happened once she realized what was truly going on.
And secondly…what a great idea about Christmas and giving to Jesus. At first, I was thinking, “How exactly do you give tangible gifts to Jesus?” But your ideas are great. I do have a question. Do your kids know about Santa or have you already told them from the start about him? I think there’s definitely a risk of the kids getting upset but, at the same time, if you tell them when they’re young and they don’t get used to getting tons of gifts every year, it will be easier. It’s worth the little bit of a potential fight that they may give. And if you make them a part of the process, they will probably actually get excited about it. It’s one thing to tell kids they’re not getting anything and then leave it at that. It’s another to tell them they’re not going to get any gifts from their parents, while also including them in the process of gift giving so they feel like they’re making a difference. I talked about this with Joe and I think it’s important…that I want my kids to go with me volunteering on a regular basis so they understand what giving is about and what Christ wants us to be doing. It will hopefully make them less selfish and more compassionate. So what you’re doing is great. That’s basically what I meant to say but said it in long form
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I’m really glad God had you drop your credit card. It really wasn’t a problem imagining that situation.
I did have a suggestion for you. Giving to shelters, orphanages, and soup kitchens is great, but have you considered having them also give to the church. Realistically I think the church is charged to meet the community’s physical needs and spiritual needs, and it would also be a good lesson in tithing. Just a thought.
It’s funny that this is what your new Christmas tradition will look like because I decided this too, but in a slightly different way. I really don’t have money to give gifts and I realized this year that I didn’t want gifts (sadly, this was about a week before Christmas when all my gifts had been bought already). Next year, though, I’ve already determined that i don’t want any gifts. I don’t expect anything. If someone gives me something then that’s fine, but I would like them to take the money that they planned on spending and give to a charity or the church. Imagine the possibilities:
Our church has 200 people (ish). Break that down to say 80 families. On average people spend around $500 (usually more, i think) on gifts. 80 x 500=40,000. That’s just our small church.
take a 10,000 person church. Break that down into 2,500 families. 2,500 x 500=1,250,000. that’s just one big church.
that’s also just one Christmas.
ok. i’m off my soap box. i’ve just put some thought into this lately and realized the potential for good if people just gave up Christmas gifts for one year. the results, to me, are astonishing.
Kurt, thank you for your continued honesty. your ideas make us think. it’s just sad that thinking is a hobby of the past.
Debbie,
Thanks. Our kids have always been taught that Santa is the same is Mickey Mouse or Elmo. Not real but nice to hear stories about and imagine. Personally, I believe the Santa lie to be the first great deception parents perpetrate upon their children, and I could have no part of it.
We were actually discussing Christmas yesterday at lunch, so we told our kids about our plan then. No fighting, and some interest from the older 2. I think Christmas 09 will be fun.
That is great that you and Joe are united on your plans regarding modeling a life dedicated to others, Stef and I are as well. Imagine if the whole church (universal, not local) started practicing this as well. There would be no more waiting for the world to change, the world would be changed.
Joe:
First off, we are the church, all of us, we just do not often function as it. Second, I agree that would be the ideal, but since most churches I have attended spend less that 30% of their budget on meeting needs and actually practicing true religion as the bible states it, and over 70% on buildings and staff etc, then I cannot endorse sold out giving to the church. We are not told to give to the church, but to give to God.
I have heard of a church that gives 50% of all its giving to ministries outside of its walls. That is something I can get on board with. Imagine what I difference the church would start making if they started giving away more and more of their money rather than building nicer and nicer buildings. Christ was born in a stable, why not worship him in one>
All that being said, your thoughts regarding the scalability of the church is completely accurate. If the people of the church would start giving themselves up on a grand scale, there would be no need. Lives would be changed, and the gospel would go forth triumphantly like in Acts. Instead, we cling to our Xboxes, our 3 cars, our closets stuffed with clothes, and we complain that we do not have enough.
Great stuff guys… I’m getting to it a bit late.
Kurt, I love the idea behind what you are saying about gift giving. I want to practice this idea throughout the year. You’ve encouraged me to consider more ways we can get the kids involved in giving. As for the Christmas holiday… the gift giving is a part of what makes it special. I don’t think I’ll tamper with that. I don’t see the harm in celebrating the precious holiday that it is with giving each other gifts… and receiving them with thanksgiving to God for every good thing. And as for Santa, we too felt that telling our kids that a fat man in a red suit delivers gifts at Christmas is a lie that we are asking them to believe in faith. I don’t think there’s any way of being prepared to answer my children later on in life on why Santa’s not real but Jesus is. We simply explain that Santa is a symbol of a beautiful man (St. Nick) that lived long ago who had a beautiful heart to give gifts in celebration of Jesus’ birthday. After all, that’s what I know to be true… and I’d hate to miss the blessing of St. Nick’s wonderful gift giving ministry by ruling out the story of Santa entirely.
Jim,
Excellent points. Like I said, Santa is like Elmo, but I never thought of teaching the kids the St. Nick story behind it. This can help reinforce the giving to others for Christmas thinking.
This past November, I made the comment to my parents that “we should skip Christmas this year because I am still paying the credit card bills from last Christmas.” I was kind of ashamed of myself later on when I realized what I had said and how I was thinking of the holiday in the terms of the money I had to spend on presents for friends and family. My parents seemed to agree with the notion and together we decided not to exchange gifts. It felt good to get back in touch with the true meaning of Christmas!
I too think that in America Christmas is not remembered for being our saviors day of birth. Children are more interested in what they are getting as a gift that the real meaning of it. Parents should reflect on this and teach their children Christmas is much more than the gifts being given.
I am sorry, I did not raise my hand, cause I am sitting in front of my boss in my office. I appreciate the way that you “spent” your money. You brought happy to others as well as to your self. Hope you had a very good Christmas! although it is too late to say so.
An interesting idea, and certainly food for thought, but you need to be careful how you do it. If it is put forward in a way that seems punitive to the children, they will end up being resentful of being deprived gifts instead of appreciating what giving is about. I think it would be more constructive to do some volunteer work along with your children, so that instead of having it as an abstract concept, they can see firsthand the joy that comes onto someone’s face when someone is helping them. When you do that, when the children can see how their actions are directly helping others and bringing people together, they will be more appreciative of how giving and volunteering can have tangible and meaningful benefits that go far beyond some shiny new toy.
A thoroughly enjoyable post. I liked the idea of giving for Christmas. Doens’t Father Christmas give out gifts to people? I am sure he must be enjoying seeing the smiles on people’s faces as he hands out his presents. Yes indeed it is more blessed to give than to receive. If Santa Claus can get so much pleaseure out of giving, the why shoud we deprive ourselves of a similar pleasure. It sure will be fun to give gifts to people wh really need them. It is a great idea. I see my mother doing this all the time. She says one must alwasy give things to the needy an dGod always gives you back much more than you give.
I just love it! I have heard about people doing what you did at local StarBucks too. There was even a story about it on the national news! I think if more people were to give when they can to others, the world would be so much better. I am not a Christian, so I felt I should only comment on the part that I could relate to. Thanks!
That is such a neat idea to pay for the food of unsuspecting people, I might give it a try sometime soon. I like your idea about not buying christmas presents. I myself do not celebrate christmas, as I’m not christian, but solstice and the season. So I don’t buy anything special just because it’s winter time and have never exchanged gifts simply for the sake of it. Even thought I don’t celebrate it, I don’t like the idea of christmas being so commercialized. Isn’t that a sacralige to the people who do? Its suposed to be Jesus’ birthday, not spend all your money on useless presents for people or feel guilty when they give you something day, right? So good choice on raising your children to not be greedy americans who have lost all meaning behind holidays.
Kurt, excellent story about Wendy’s, I have heard of people doing this for others. Regardless of how angry the woman behind you got, she had to do some rethinking after realizing what you were doing for her. Would of loved to be a mouse to see her reaction after finding her order was already paid for by the person she was getting angry with. I hope she realized that getting angry is a choice we make in ourself, regardless of the circumstances.
Christmas, Santa, the American way of commercialism, somehow started walking hand in hand. Does anyone realize why yet? How it happened? We are taught to spend at an early age, we are taught to be selfish at an early age with the commercials and shows that are watched on a daily basis. Take that away from a child and teach them respect, giving, to put heart into what they do. Amazing how it can change a life if you follow simple rules like this. The way I raised my girls with the Santa thing is this, Santa is real, he lives in each of us, that giving with heart to another can bring joy. That the spirit of Christmas lives in each of us. With that I have also taught them that just going out and buying something isn’t giving as much of the heart, its more of I have to do this type attitude. Now what I have taught them is that making gifts, yes handmade items they put there time and energy into for someone is worth more than any gift that is bought. If you look at someone who has aged, like a grandparent, do they have a TV given to them years back, or an ornament made by one of their children that hangs on a tree every year. I can say with heart that the girls are older now and still do this today.
As for the giving to others, they were taught and have seen this on a daily basis. As my girls grew they formed their own idea’s and things that they do. One of my daughters when she see’s a person on the street with a sign saying, “Will work for Food” she goes out of her way and buys them a meal or sandwich from like Burger King, then takes it to them and says “This is for you.” Then she goes on to what she was doing. Would giving like this from each person in the world, make a difference?
I give you hands up on trying to teach your children the gift of giving, it isn’t going to be easy with the way most others believe. Stand tall with your decision and that impression will stay with them through out their life. Its the little moments as they grow you will see you made a difference.